


Seeing You

by QueenOfAllCorgis



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-06-07 15:57:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15222653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfAllCorgis/pseuds/QueenOfAllCorgis
Summary: It was so hard to look away from Phil sometimes. Dan always thought he was sneaky about it until he wasn’t.





	Seeing You

   “Hello Dan and Phil goats!” Phil drew out the last word and got a familiar groan in response.

           “That’s right! We are trash and are playing the game that literally every other youtuber has played,” Dan held up his hands in a little shrug. “Goat Simulator!”

           “Now Dan, what is Goat Simulator?” Phil asked, grinning.

           “So if you haven’t been on the internet or went through you OMG so random lolzor phase,” Dan made a face and then leaned forward in his chair. “Then it is very similar to the insanity of Christmas Shopping Simulator.”

           “The basic idea is that you are a goat and you basically…do goat things?” Phil’s voice went up at the end and something fluttered in Dan’s stomach. “And by goat things I mean utter destruction.”

           A smile spread across Dan’s face at the intense look Phil gave the camera, all wide eyes and his mouth in a tight line. He made a quick mental note to include a sound effect there and that’s when he realized Phil was staring at him with raised eyebrows.

           “What?”

           “It looked like your brain stopped,” Phil raised his eyebrows.

           “I was just stunned at your sudden descent into evil overlord,” Dan quipped back.

           “And I thought my evil persona could be hidden for longer,” he shook his head sadly. “Luckily I can unleash my evil in the form of a goat!”

           Dan loved it when they played stupid games like this. As much as he considered himself to be a hardcore gamer these were the most fun to play with Phil. He couldn’t keep from staring at that bright smile, the way his eyes crinkled, and the way his laugh made the whole room seem a little lighter.

           “Look at the goat!” Phil burst out into giggles as soon as the opening screen started. “His tongue is hanging out! It’s the derpiest goat I’ve ever seen!”

           “Ooooh! Run that guy in the ugly track suit down!” Dan pointed to the person walking by their goat and howled with laughter when the man went flying.

           He knew he wasn’t particularly invested in the banter today. It was hard to come up with sassy one liners when Phil was sitting there like sunshine personified. It was so hard to look away from the way his tongue caught between his teeth or the way his entire body shook with his laughter.

           “What?” Phil asked when he caught Dan staring for the millionth time. “Do I have something on my face?”

           “No,” he felt his own cheeks heat up and Phil gave him an odd look.

           “Then why do you keep staring at me?” There was that smile that made Dan’s heart skip a beat. “Unless I’m just so captivating that you can’t look away?”

           And he couldn’t find the words to respond.

           The longer the silence stretched on the more Phil’s smile faded. Complete panic overwhelmed Dan as he realized that he had practically given himself away without saying a word. Phil’s expression softened and he sucked in a short breath.

           “Dan…”

           He scrambled to his feet, heart racing in his chest as his mouth tried to form words that wouldn’t come. In that moment his brain jumped right into the flight response and he turned on his heel and hurried out of the room.

           “Dan! Wait!”

           Stupid, stupid, stupid.

           All he had to do was laugh off the joke and things could have kept going. Instead he stared at him like a complete creep and then ran away. What other conclusion could Phil possibly come to?

           He locked himself in his bedroom and proceeded to have a mini panic attack. Hoe could he fix this? How could he make this somewhat less weird?

           Time ticked by slowly as he went through every possible reaction Phil could have. He could be packing his things right now. He could be trying to think of all the ways he could tell Dan how disgusting he was. He could-

           “Dan?” There was a soft knock at the door and he froze completely. “I know that you are working yourself into a frenzy now because that’s what you do. I’m not angry or…just please open the door and let’s talk.”

           He stayed silent.

           “Okay…okay…I’m leaving my laptop outside. Just watch the video okay? Promise?” When he didn’t reply Phil sighed and walked away down the hall.

           When he was completely sure that Phil was in the lounge he inched open the door and picked up the laptop on the other side. With a sigh, Dan sat down on his bed and moved his finger across the track pad to wake it up.

           It was the video they just recorded and Dan felt hot tears fill his eyes. Was Phil making fun of him? Anxiety made his chest tighten and he stared down at his hands.

           Had he really hidden his feelings for Phil all these years only to let them out in a truly embarrassing fashion? God, how humiliating.

           Well, it was like ripping a plaster off. He bit his lip and pressed play, leaning back into the pillows and pulling one into his lap to hug.

           It was a few clips from the video they had just filmed and he stared at the tiny version of himself, dreading the obvious staring and embarrassment. But…he wasn’t looking at Phil in the video. This was when Dan was laughing at the screen or playing the game himself. Why would Phil choose these clips?

           Confused, his eyes drifted to Phil and that familiar fluttering came back full force. Phil was the one staring at him. Phil was the one looking at him with soft, round eyes. Phil was the one who leaned in closer.

           Where Dan looked at Phil like he was the sun, Phil looked at Dan like he was the moon and stars.

           Had he honestly been so concerned about Phil noticing that he never actually looked himself. He didn’t even realize that those same longing looks were being mirrored right next to him. How could he not see it?

           Feeling both numb and tingly at the same time Dan rose to his feet and walked to the loft where Phil sat. Their eyes met and he recognized the fear that lingered in the back of Phil’s expression. For a long, long moment they were just quiet, trying to read each other.

           “I didn’t see it,” he whispered and Phil’s shoulders relaxed faintly. “I was so scared that I would be caught looking that I never saw it.”

           A tiny smile lifted the corners of Phil’s mouth until he was grinning goofily. “So we’ve spent  _years_ acting like high school kids?”

           “I guess you didn’t get my note that I gave Tracy to give to Winston to give to Susan that said I like liked you?” Dan asked with a smile, stepping forward.

           “Oh shut up,” Phil laughed, standing up and grabbing the sides of his head before bringing him in for a kiss.


End file.
